My sister sent me a thoughtful message about my mom and death a couple of weeks ago, but even before she sent me the message, my thoughts were already dwelling on my … Continue reading On the Loss(es) of a Mother
Author: R.R. Wolfgang
I am a mother, wife, sister, daughter, and a survivor. I am a human being, in all my frailty and imperfections, who hopes to build a brighter future for my children and the children of this world. My writings here are simply reflections of a human being navigating these waters, and hopefully correcting course as needed.
Why Black Lives Matter is Crucial, All Lives Matter is Unnecessary, and White Lives Matter is just Racist
Such a necessary and thoughtful message for all those who once, like me, thought there was nothing wrong with the statement “All Lives Matter.” There isn’t anything intrinsically wrong with it, but this post hit the proverbial nail on the head – it’s an unnecessary statement.
So Black Lives Matter has taken over my newsfeed of Facebook again this week.
It all started with this picture, posted on the page for my employer, United Campus Ministries at TU, after we put a BLM sign out front of our building, and it was subsequently stolen Tuesday night or Wednesday morning. We promptly got another one to put out front.
I shared the picture to my personal Facebook page, and all hell broke lose. Immediately, the All Lives Matter and White Lives Matter crowd jumped all over this. So I posted an article by Leonard Pitts that addressed why All Lives Matter is insensitive and unnecessary.
And that set off a whole other can of worms.
So then, in my great wisdom, I posted this wonderful graphic.
And the whole thing happened over again.
And in the midst of this, I keep seeing patterns of thought from the…
View original post 1,804 more words
Breathe
So, the last few weeks have been stressful. As in, I stopped seeing myself as a human being, and instead was just a ball of aches and anxiety. When it … Continue reading Breathe
Let Go
I had to share this post from one of my favorite bloggers, Behind the White Coat, because it so perfectly mirrored my own thoughts as I watched my daughter plunge ahead of me on the sidewalk yesterday. She doesn’t want to hold my hand any more, but wants to forge her own way through the world, armed with her knowledge to stop at driveways and look for cars, and to always, always stop at the street and wait for me or her daddy to hold hands.
I want to hold her hand forever. I want to feel her little hand, so warm and soft in my own, with the knowledge that if her hand is in mine, I can keep her safe.
But little girls get bigger, and little girls want to learn how to stand on their own two feet, and to see their moms looking back at them with a smile, not a constant look of terror.
Because when she runs ahead, with a carefree bounce in step, I am constantly imagining a car coming from nowhere, jumping the curb and taking her from me. I’m imagine her bobbing hair, her head turning and those innocent happy eyes looking into mine as she’s ripped from my world. I imagine her broken, dying, in my arms, and all the terrible things that could happen in that moment when’s she just out of my reach, and I’m plunged into a dark place. I want to run to her, pick her up, caution her that the world is a scary place, and she must always be careful of all the terrible things that could happen in that moment when she turns her head to beam at her mommy. But then I think, if she’s obeying the rules, if she’s close to me, why should I put my own fear of all the things that COULD happen into her?
I see her joy and it lifts my spirits, but my fear of letting go of that little precious hand and letting her discover the world on her own, with her own two hands, not just one – that terrifies me.
I let go, I smile and laugh and enjoy her exploration of the world around her, point at the things we’re learning at together, but each time I feel like I’m holding my breath, waiting for the moment when she comes back to me. When her hand is in mine, or I’m carrying her, her head resting on my shoulder.
If All Lives Matter, Why Is My Shirt Bothering You?
This is too important not to share. I know it’s a heated topic right now, but it’s something we need to change. Hate and oppression don’t go away just because we want to sweep them under the rug.
Why writing fiction really matters
An important message to all you readers, writers, and fiction-lovers… What you’re doing matters! Please take a look at this compelling story and support Nick in his journey.
“Insert!” He extended his foot…
“You sound like a Borg.” … and wriggled his toes into the sock. “That would make me a cyborg.” He paused. I could see the wheels turning. “That’s it…my recovery… the screwdriver must have damaged the wiring… and the nano-bots have been busy with repairs…”
He stopped as I sighed… to be fair, it wasn’t a bad analogy. Most of Nick’s problems are caused by faulty wiring. He is fitter than most, carries not an ounce of fat and is all muscle. Even so, there are a few of the moving parts that don’t function as well as they should, in spite of the incredible recovery he has made so far.
His eyes are one of them. And that had hit hard. Nick had always been an avid reader, sharing my ‘library’ and devouring fantasy and science fiction. Being unable to hold and read a…
View original post 636 more words
I’m Furious About You Being Furious About The Thing You’re Furious About
Oh, my, yes, this perfectly summarizes something I have been feeling as I follow news and social media, but it does so with such humor and wit. And, I’ve gotta say, these are much needed rather than the anger and frustration that seems to be pouring out of the interwebs these days! Oh, my, thank you!
Watching social media more or less incessantly as I have been over the last few days – instead of working or feeding my children or acknowledging brief but important everyday moments of physical affection from my partner – I’ve seen, as you surely have, that everyone is furious about a thing. This thing really has got goats and stuck in craws in every corner of the globe. It’s been trending for days and hardly anyone’s feed is free of comment on the subject. Politicians and celebrities have weighed in with their opinions, and seventy-four badly-realised parody accounts based on this thing were registered by midnight Pacific Time last night.
But ask yourself this: why? Why are they furious about this thing when there is another thing that I believe they should be much more furious about? The thing that I believe they should be furious about is so much more…
View original post 285 more words
Emerging from a Funk, or “Love and Peace, Y’all!”
Whew, the last couple of weeks have been exhausting and I haven’t quite been able to pinpoint why. I mean, aside from a flurry of visitors, visits, raising two small … Continue reading Emerging from a Funk, or “Love and Peace, Y’all!”
On Showing Up
Okay, so I put this out there in my post on being a med student’s wife, but something that I didn’t mention about the hardship of being a med student’s … Continue reading On Showing Up
Query Letters and Rejection
Yes, this, many times this. I echo the sentiment so aptly stated by Eric Schlehlein here: “I deserve to be rejected, dang it!” If you’ve ever written query letters into the gaping abyss of silence, you understand what he’s talking about.
I DESERVE TO BE REJECTED, DANG IT!
This will be a short post about the query process and the rejections that go with it. Yes, I’ve covered this topic before, but that was long before my manuscript was complete and ready for agents to view. Writing about it then was like a virgin writing about the experience of intercourse. You think you know, but you don’t.
I’m 19 query letters into the publication industry and I’ve been rejected just five times. I’ll be sending out more in the morning. I am still an infant in this process, but I can say that being rejected is not the big bad wolf I had thought it would be. In fact, all of the feedback I’ve received has been positive. One agent’s rejection letter read, “Thank you for a wonderful note!” Another’s said, “Your process is excellent and there’s a lot to like about your approach…
View original post 316 more words
R.R. Wolfgang 