Author: R.R. Wolfgang

I am a mother, wife, sister, daughter, and a survivor. I am a human being, in all my frailty and imperfections, who hopes to build a brighter future for my children and the children of this world. My writings here are simply reflections of a human being navigating these waters, and hopefully correcting course as needed.

Just Don’t Do It

· Leave a comment ·

This was quite eye-opening. I’ll admit, I read the article by Ellen Leanse, and my initial response was “well, that does describe me, perhaps I could take a few pointers from this.” But, as I finished reading this article, I am now walking the line. She has a point – men aren’t criticized nearly so frequently for the way they talk. So, why must women talk like men? Why must we be scrutinized for how we look, how we speak, and why must it be our fault so consistently that we are often objectified, ridiculed, and made to feel like we must change everything about ourselves in order to NOT be victims of discrimination.

Why must apples pretend to be oranges to be treated fairly? And why do we women buy into this mindset? That in order to succeed, the key is to stop being women and pretend as hard as we can to be men?

It’s certainly food for thought, at the very least.

debuk's avatarlanguage: a feminist guide

This week everyone’s been talking about an article in the Economist explaining how men’s use of language undermines their authority. According to the author, a senior manager at Microsoft, men have a bad habit of punctuating everything they say with sentence adverbs like ‘actually’, ‘obviously’, ‘seriously’ and ‘frankly’. This verbal tic makes them sound like pompous bullshitters, so that people switch off and stop listening to what they’re saying. If they want to be successful, this is something men need to address.

OK, people haven’t been talking about that article—mainly because I made it up. No one writes articles telling men how they’re damaging their career prospects by using the wrong words. With women, on the other hand, it’s a regular occurrence. This post was inspired by a case in point: a piece published last month in Business Insider, in which a former Google executive named Ellen Petry Leanse…

View original post 2,244 more words

american idiot

· 1 Comment ·

Oh, my, this is wonderful. It reminds me of my first few weeks in England, the most noteworthy moment was when I went into The Royal Bank of Scotland (because, being American, it was the closest bank to where I lived, so naturally, it was where I thought I’d do my banking). I walked up to the counter and informed the teller that I was an American student on a student visa and would like to set up a student bank account. The conversation (if one could call it that) went something like this:

Me <23-years-old and proud of herself for studying abroad>: “Hi! I’m doing a master’s degree here and would like to set up an international student banking account! Do you do that here?”
Clerk (who, to my surprise, is actually Scottish, imagine that, in the Royal Bank of Scotland): “Oh, why, certainly <begins speaking indecipherable polite speak at superhuman levels>, aaaaand we can do that today, if you’d like.”
Me <bewildered and ashamed that I had absolutely no clue what had just happened> : “Um, I’m sorry, I didn’t get that, could you say that again?”
Clerk: “Oh, certainly! You’re American, are you?! Well, we have <begins speaking indecipherable polite speak at somehow increased superhuman levels>, if one of those options works for you”.
Me: “Gosh, I’m really sorry, but I still didn’t get that… Could you go just a little slower. I’m jet-lagged.”
Clerk: “Why, CERT-AIN-LY, dear, <begins speaking indecipherable polite speak at superhuman levels>.”
Me : “Um, I’m so sorry. Do you have a pamphlet?”

When he slid it across the marbled counter toward me, I sputtered a thank you and fled in shame. I spent the next two years learning how very little I knew about the world. Like, telling my housemates I didn’t like pudding, then trying to describe why I was sad when they brought out Ben and Jerry’s ice cream for everyone but me. To me, pudding was, well, a sugary paste you make for people who’ve had their wisdom teeth out. Or put in a pie and cover up with whip cream. And a biscuit is NOT a cookie, and if you ask me if I left my jumper over by the piano, I would tell you I haven’t owned a jumper since I was four. Oh, you mean my sweat shirt? Yes, yes, that’s mine. Yeah, there’s some adjustment, and in the first few weeks, you feel like the people speaking your language are more foreign almost, because they’re speaking familiar words, but they’re using all the words differently.Oh, and don’t get me started on the pronunciation of “skeletal” and “aluminum.” *shudder*

Dana Cass's avatarthe anti-lifestyle blog

“D’ya want [incomprehensible noise]?”

“Um, I’m sorry, what?”

“D’ya want [incomprehensible noise]?”

“I’m–um–sorry, one more time?”

“D’ya want [incomprehensible noise]?”

“I… no. No, thanks.”

I am in London, in a cafe on Charlotte Street, where I learn in short order that drip coffee is an American thing, and there is something else that I could have on my avocado toast, but I don’t know what it is and I’m not going to say yes on the off-chance it’s Marmite. That seems like the kind of stunt they might pull in a country where coffee is served in cups that look like doll furniture. Nobody’s awake enough to know better.

It’s the first time I’ve left America in nearly a decade. I live in a world where this is rare: as an employee of a multinational corporation, and also a white person who went to liberal arts college, my unmarked passport is a curiosity…

View original post 1,420 more words

An Open Letter To All Of My Friends Who Take Selfies

· Leave a comment ·

Yes. Yes. I have heard so many folks slam selfies, even selfies of moms or dads with their kids. It’s egocentric. It’s shameless attention-seeking, promoting the same for the next generation. You know what’s awesome? Getting a pic of yourself being silly with your kid, so, when they’re older, they’ll see it and see the look of joy on your face, and know they were always loved. I mean, who remembers when they’re two?

My main question is this – if you think someone is posting a pic because they crave attention, does that say something bad about the person who supposedly craves attention, or that your mind so quickly went to the negative? Why must we be so hard on those around us? Why, if someone is struggling with their appearance and wants to post a pic that says, ‘look at me. I feel good today” – why can’t we support them? Why constantly focusing on the negative?

This post says it way better than I ever could! The internet makes the world a smaller place, one that is so much easier to find ways to spread love, instead of hate.

So, I see you! I’ll post a selfie shortly. 🙂

Anne Thériault's avatarThe Belle Jar

Dear Friends Who Take Selfies,

I want you to know that I love it when you post pictures of yourself. I know selfies get a lot of bad press, but I think they’re rad. They give me a little window into your life, and you’d be amazed at how much I can get out of one little photo.

I love your pictures because I love seeing what you’re wearing – the outfits you build give me ideas about how to mix it up with my own wardrobe, and seeing you work your shit gives me courage to try clothing that I otherwise might have thought was too outlandish or revealing.

I love seeing how you do your hair and makeup. You look like a hot babe and I wish you would make YouTube tutorials explaining how you get your eyeliner just so. I want you to post pictures every time you change your…

View original post 425 more words

Walking Through the Witches

· Leave a comment ·

Awesome artistic exploration – and I think the message can be applied to any kind of artistic endeavor. Even if it seems a little freaky or wonky, keep going, and it will turn out all right! I’ll keep this in mind with my final revision of my current (and first) novel.

Happy Friday, everyone!

busymockingbird's avatarbusy mockingbird

People ask me sometimes about ballpoint pen and how I use it in my drawings. They’ll say that when they use it, it smears or gets discolored. And I say, “that’s because no one in their right mind should be using ballpoint pen.” But I can’t help it–that’s what I like. It’s what I’ve ALWAYS liked, and what I’m most comfortable with. It’s cheap, portable, easy to find, easy to carry.

But it does have a couple of issues.

Don’t be scared, though! When I was younger, information was a lot harder to find, and I was about the only one I ever knew that drew with a PEN. Nowadays, there are TONS of fine artists that use ballpoint (sometimes they call it “biro”), and do some AMAZING work. I don’t know what they go through, but here are some things I’ve learned…

THE PEN ITSELF

I’ve learned that I…

View original post 850 more words

Serial Kid Producer Reveals Top 10 Reasons Not to Have Kids

· 4 Comments ·

Oh, my, this is hilarious, and completely, and my sleep-deprived mind had to share this. And with that, a bid you good night. If my children decide I am worthy of sleep…

barbtaub's avatarBarb Taub

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

imgresI was lying awake last night, trying to memorize the feeling of everything being right with my family. We’re all healthy, happy, and remarkably satisfied with where we are in life at this exact moment. Even Child #4 has just taken her last ever Uni final, and pronounced herself ready to go off the family payroll.

A friend asked if I ever regretted having so many kids, or the time/money/everything that it took to raise them. She said her book club (having dispensed with the required 8.5 minutes of book-related discussion) were all talking about the reasons their grown children were not producing grandchildren.

That reminded me of this blast-from-the-past I wrote a few years ago.

Top 10 reasons not to have kids

There are actually LOTS of reasons not to have kids. As a serial kid-producer, I offer a revised list:

10. Vermin =…

View original post 1,594 more words